Why People Don’t Celebrate Your Success (and What to Do About It)

You finally land that big deal. Or finish that project that nearly broke your brain. Or maybe you hit your fitness goal and feel like shouting it from the rooftops.

But then…you share your win…and crickets.

Or worse, you catch side-eye from a colleague or a passive-aggressive “must be nice” from a friend.

I think about this topic a little too much. 

I’ve experienced this myself personally and I see more and more of it.

LinkedIn, for example. I’ve been on the platform my entire career. I have so many connections and followers yet, when there have been times of a pivotal moment for me, it’s crickets. 

I’ve experienced many ups and downs in my career. Job searches and what everyone deems as networking doesn’t seem to work like it used to. People I’ve worked with in the past that I’m supposedly connected to, are silent when you’re trying to network to stay connected or looking for a position at a company they work for or supporting you when you are trying something new and taking on a new endeavor like a side hustle or business. 

On top of all of that…

Many of these social media platforms have become a game where you need to pay for any kind of visibility and I’m not so sure that even with paying to be on the platform, one is getting any visibility at all either. It’s been very interesting watching the evolution of social media and networking. The human dynamic is changing more than anything I’ve ever experienced and I’m finding that my circle of trusted people in my life is at the smallest level it’s ever been. 

AND

The support that I do receive is from COMPLETE STRANGERS!!!

It feels like the more you try to strive for something better, the more friends and people in your life you lose. It’s bigger than being around the best people to influence your life in a positive way, it’s that I’ve come to the conclusion that most people don’t actually want for you to succeed. 

The Science of “Schadenfreude”

German gave us a word for this: schadenfreude—the pleasure people get from someone else’s misfortune. Turns out, it’s more common than we like to admit. A study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that envy and comparison drive a surprising amount of resentment when others succeed.

In fact, Gallup reports that 84% of employees worldwide are disengaged at work. So when you’re out there winning, it can shine a light on their lack of progress—and human brains don’t like that mirror.

Why Your Wins Don’t Land the Way You Hope

What This Means for You

This doesn’t mean you should downplay your success. It means you need to be strategic about where and how you share it.

✅ Pick your audience wisely. Share with mentors, close friends, or communities rooting for you, not with that colleague who gossips at every coffee break.

✅ Frame it with value. Instead of “I got promoted!” try: “I learned some negotiation strategies that helped me get promoted—want me to share them?” Now your win feels like a win for others too.

✅ Celebrate privately too. A study in Journal of Positive Psychology shows that savoring personal achievements—even without external validation—boosts long-term well-being.

Bottom Line

Nobody cares as much as you do. And that’s a good thing. Your wins are for you. Protect them, celebrate them in the right rooms, and don’t waste energy convincing the wrong audience to clap.

After all, the people who matter. They’ll cheer loudly. The ones who don’t? They were never in your corner anyway.

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Three things to ALWAYS remember:

Be CONFIDENT!

Be EMPATHETIC!

AND ALWAYS HAVE PASSION!!!!